| — | When there is foul weather on a Sunday afternoon, there will something on TV you actually want to watch. |
| — | Baby diapers will be self-replacing. |
| — | No one will hate himself in the morning unless he actually did do something awful. |
| — | Harley Davidsons will not make noise, but they will fly. |
| — | When you scratch your head indoors, overhead lighting will blink. |
| — | Most dogs will run free, but all mosquitoes will be kept on leashes. |
| — | Cars will run on clarinet music; the fastest cars will run on klezmer. |
| — | Popcorn husks with not grab the back of your tongue. |
| — | All the crosses atop Christian churches will be replaced by much more humane guillotines. |
| — | The cosmos will revert to good old geocentricism, until anybody out there objects. |
| — | The nighttime sky between midnight and one o'clock will be programmable. |
| — | Jesus will multiply fishes and loaves at Whole Foods like there's no tomorrow (or afterlife), and prices will beoome affordable. |
| — | Presidents and prime ministers will be chosen by voting for the best stand-up comics. |
| — | Snowflakes will tickle, and acid rain will be pleasantly hallucinogenic. |
| — | Every pet store will have a Doberman rescue department. |
| — | Buddha will go on a diet. |
| — | When it rains cats and dogs, they will be kittens and puppies. |
| — | Every bathroom will have a body-length blow dryer. |
| — | All barns will start out two hundred years old. |
| — | All paperwork will be accomplished by goats, and they will produce fine fertilizer. |
| — | Everyone will have a photographic memory and a delete button. |
| — | All national anthems will be Chuck Berry songs. |
